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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28355067">5 Times Janus Gave His Boyfriends a Nickname, and 1 Time They Gave Him One</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxious_logic/pseuds/anxious_logic'>anxious_logic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nicknames, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, theyre so in love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:28:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28355067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxious_logic/pseuds/anxious_logic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Janus loves his boyfriends a lot, and shows that love in unique ways. And maybe, just maybe, his boyfriends will return the favor.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>5 Times Janus Gave His Boyfriends a Nickname, and 1 Time They Gave Him One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/jowritesthings/gifts">jowritesthings</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for sanderssides-secretsanta on tumblr!</p><p>Warnings: Food mention, overworking, self-deprecating/negative thoughts. Let me know if there’s anything else!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="">
  <p>-1-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus was curled up on the sofa, reading a book on his bed under his heat lamp. The room was quiet, only the occasional rustle of pages from him or his boyfriend interrupting the silence.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus shifted slightly, readjusting so his legs didn’t fall asleep. He basked in the feeling of the heat hitting him at a slightly different angle, warming some of the skin that had been previously cool. He searched for where he had left off from his book.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was startled out of the comfortable silence by a quiet buzz coming from Logan. The other side took out his phone, tapping on the screen a few times before the soft buzzing ceased.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Bedtime,” Logan said quietly, placing a bookmark in his spot and standing up. He stretched his arms over his head.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus noted the page he was on before leaning over to turn off his heat lamp. He let out a quiet, mournful sigh as the heat dissipated, before standing up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Sleep well, darling,” he said, standing on his toes to brush a soft kiss across Logan’s forehead. He pulled back to see the other side blushing red.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I- ah- you as well,” Logan stammered uncharacteristically before quickly making his way out the door.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus frowned as his eyes followed where Logan had been.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>What was that about…?</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>-2-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Roman looked up in surprise as Janus knocked on his doorframe, peeking his head in.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Roman?” he asked quietly. Roman rolled his shoulders back, putting down his pen.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Come in,” he replied.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus gave him a small smile as he entered the room, his hands full with a sandwich and a glass of water. He saw Roman’s face light up at the sight of the sandwich.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Crofters?” he asked hopefully.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus let a smile spread across his face at his boyfriend’s excitement. “Yes.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Roman held out his hands, his fingers opening and closing. “Gimme gimme gimme!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus let out a small chuckle, handing the plate over to Roman. His boyfriend bit into it, his expression turning to pure bliss at the taste of the strawberry Crofters.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Fank oo,” Roman mumbled through the sandwich.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus put a hand on Roman’s shoulder, squeezing slightly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Remember to take breaks,” he said. “Your work is important, but if you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Roman quickly swallowed his sandwich. “Princess Bride? Yes.” He reached over for the water glass, quickly depleting it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ll leave you alone now,” Janus said after a moment. “Remember to take breaks, beloved.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Roman choked on his water, spluttering a few times and clearing his throat. “Ah- yes, of course,” he said distractedly. “I’ll… remember that.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus leaned over, giving him a kiss. “See you later.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He walked out of Roman’s room, barely keeping a straight face. As soon as he made it back to his own room, he closed the door behind him, collapsing back into it as he let out the laughter he’d been holding in.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Nicknames, huh?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could work with that.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> -3-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus softly tapped his knuckles against the dark blue door in front of him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Logan?” he called gently. “Are you in there?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was a pause, and he could very faintly hear rustling coming from inside the room.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes,” Logan called back. “I was under the impression I was not expected until dinner, has that changed?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus glanced at his watch. “It’s eleven thirty at night, Logan.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Suddenly, the door opened, letting Janus speak face-to-face with his boyfriend. “I- eleven thirty? When- what?” Logan appeared distracted, but he was focusing intently on Janus.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus raised his eyebrows, feeling his lips quirk up. “New special interest?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Logan shook his head rapidly, as though trying to clear something from his mind. “I- apparently so, I suppose.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus held out a hand in invitation. “I can make you some dinner, and you can infodump what you’ve learned, if you like.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Logan glanced back, seeming conflicted, but grabbed onto Janus’s hand. Janus rubbed his thumb over the back of Logan’s knuckles, not wanting to overwhelm him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Or if you’d rather, I can bring food up here. But I’d like to be sure that you finish it, because special interests can be fun, but you need to stay healthy regardless.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Logan gave a slow nod. “Can I finish this article, and then you can get me to come down for some food?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus brought Logan’s hand up to his lips, laying a gentle kiss on the back of it. “Of course, dear.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He let the hand slip out of his fingers as Logan blushed slightly pink, turning back to his room. Janus just barely heard a giggle as the door closed behind him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>…Hm. Something to remember.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> -4-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus gently combed his hands through Roman’s hair, the creative side’s breath hitching slightly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t- I can’t-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus hummed quietly as Roman collapsed forward into him, his arms coming up around Janus’s back. Janus materialized a few more arms, securing one around Roman’s shoulders and rubbing another up and down his back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know, sweetheart,” he said gently into Roman’s hair. “It’s hard, I know it’s hard, but I <em>promise </em>it’ll be okay.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He knew that the words didn’t help the situation – creative block was an absolute <em>bitch, </em>and when it came right before a big deadline like this? Well, everything just built up at once, and there was no hope of Roman staying together any longer.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>(Which was okay. Because everyone deserves to break, sometimes.)</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Right now, it was two days before a major video was due. Thomas had been under a huge amount of stress recently, between video due dates and his new boyfriend (!!!) and, well, have you seen the state of the world? Not all of it was bad stress (again, <em>the boyfriend), </em>but it was stress nonetheless.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And then Roman had hit a creative block right as Thomas was gearing up for a last-minute editing spree, and it had all spilled over.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s going to be okay,” Janus said into Roman’s hair, rocking them back and forth slightly. “I love you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He heard Roman take a shaky breath, and felt his arms drop down from where they had been draped over Janus’s shoulders. He made his extra arms vanish, leaving one hand bracing the back of Roman’s neck and one hand still gently rubbing circles on his back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thank you,” he heard Roman mumble, from where his head was still tucked into his neck.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Of course, sweetheart,” Janus said, pressing a kiss onto the top of Roman’s head. “Anytime.”</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> -5-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus was <em>overwhelmingly </em>content.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was snuggled between his two loves, their body heat keeping him warm. Logan was infodumping about black holes – terrifying things, in Janus’s opinion, but the way Logan presented it just made them fascinating – and Roman was also listening along. Janus was curled tightly into Roman’s side, his head on the creative side’s shoulder, and one leg thrown over Logan’s lap. Logan was gesturing as he talked, his hands occasionally flapping with excitement.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus felt a warm feeling in his chest that couldn’t be explained by the closeness he had to his boyfriends. He closed his eyes, tilting his head further into Roman’s neck as he let a happy smile spread across his face, letting himself enjoy the peacefulness of spending time with his boyfriends.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus tuned back in just in time to hear Logan fall silent in the middle of a paragraph. He frowned to himself; Logan didn’t usually stop so abruptly, and when he did, it usually wasn’t for a good reason.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You okay?” he asked, letting his eyes flutter open and lifting his head up to look at Logan.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The other man was staring at him, a sappy smile on his face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I am perfectly optimal,” Logan said softly. He relaxed into the couch back slightly, a smile still firmly on his face. “You two are the closest thing to perfect that is possible.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thank you, love,” Janus said, hearing the besotted note in his voice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I love you,” Logan said, before carefully, gently picking up Roman’s hand from where it was curled around Janus’s shoulder and raising it to his lips. “Both of you. An infinitely large amount.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus felt Roman tense. “You don’t mean infinitesimal?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I assure you, I do not,” Logan replied shortly, but Janus could tell that the annoyance was false.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He relaxed back into Roman even more, reaching a hand over to touch Logan’s thigh. “Love you too.”</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> +1+</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus wasn’t doing well.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He couldn’t help it. He was doing his best to stay happy, stay calm, keep it together. But, well.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He always told Roman that it was okay to break sometimes. He supposed that advice had to go for him, too, eventually.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Every time he looked in the mirror, all he saw was the inhuman scales, glinting back at him. The snake eye, staring soullessly at him from his reflection. The layers upon layers of his clothes, hiding (<em>always hiding) </em>more and more and more lies and truths and who Janus himself was-</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And, well. Today it just happened to be worse. And so today was the day he broke.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was staring at himself in the mirror again, trying to ignore what his thoughts were telling him. (Because they weren’t true. He <em>knew </em>they weren’t true.) Because – no. He did what he had to, at the time. He was honest with his boyfriends – as much as being the literal personification would allow him to be. He didn’t manipulate anyone in the Mind Palace, or Thomas. (At least, not anymore.) He wasn’t inhuman. He did deserve what he had. And he did deserve a breakdown.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The only problem was, it could be really hard to listen to those thoughts when others were screaming over them constantly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He <em>was </em>manipulative. He <em>wasn’t </em>honest with people. He <em>was </em>inhuman. He <em>didn’t </em>deserve any of the good things in his life. And <em>no way in hell </em>did he deserve a breakdown.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His intense eye contact with his reflection was interrupted by a gentle knock on his door.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Janus?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Roman’s voice floated through the door. Janus ripped his eyes off of the mirror, hastily wiping the tears from the human side of his face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes?” he called back, doing his best to hide the quaver in his voice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you well? You have not been out of your room today.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Logan’s voice joined Roman. From what Janus could hear through the door, his voice was steady, but the short, precise words showed his worry and preoccupation.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I- yes,” Janus called back, almost choking on the word. <em>Lying. </em>“I’m just… tired.” <em>Manipulative. </em>“A bit of time under my lamp and I will be well, I’m sure.” <em>Inhuman.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was a pause. Janus could hear quiet murmurs from the other side of the door, but he didn’t try to make them out. He knew what they would be saying anyway. <em>He can survive without us. He’ll be fine. No need for us to worry. He enjoys having time alone.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And, well. All of those things were <em>technically </em>true, but not right now. Right now those statements just hurt.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Can we come in?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus startled at the sentence, looking at the door in surprise. “Yes,” he said before he could engage his brain-to-mouth filter.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The door slowly opened, light illuminating the room Janus hadn’t even realized was still dark.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“May I turn on the light?” Logan asked quietly. Janus nodded, before realizing that the other two couldn’t see him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes,” he agreed, still slightly stunned.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The light flickered on in the room, Janus’s eyes quickly adjusting to the brightness to reveal his boyfriends’ worried faces.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m sorry for being blunt, Janus, but you don’t really… you don’t really look okay,” Roman said hesitantly. “Are you sure?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus was about to say <em>yes </em>again, tell them <em>I’m okay, I promise, </em>before the echo of <em>manipulative lies </em>reached his mind, and he felt tears well up in his eyes once more.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, sweetheart, no,” Roman murmured, reaching out to Janus before pausing. “Can I touch you, is that okay?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus nodded, letting Roman take a step forward to envelop him in his arms.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“May I- also-” Logan began haltingly. Janus interrupted him by reaching out his arms and making grabby hands, opening and closing his fingers a few times. Logan obligingly stepped around the tangle of Janus and Roman, pressing up against Janus’s back to sandwich him between them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours,” Roman murmured into Janus’s ear.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus couldn’t help but crack, telling them all of the lies that his head was telling himself. <em>Lying. Manipulative. Inhuman. Undeserving.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, darling,” Logan whispered into Janus’s ear. “I promise you, you are not manipulative. You did what you believed you had to do, and you are no longer the same person you were then.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“And you <em>are </em>human,” Roman added quickly. “Well- we’re manifestations of another person’s personality. But we’re as close as we can get. We all have our own hopes and dreams, our own personalities. We all have different feelings. Just having beautiful snakey traits doesn’t change any of that, and doesn’t make you any less human.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“To add on, you <em>absolutely </em>do deserve everything that you have,” Logan interjected. “You work hard for Thomas. You do the best that you can, with the information you have. We all do. If you don’t deserve it, if you’re not human, than neither are we.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus sniffled, shifting slightly to wipe the tears off of his face. “Okay.” He looked over to his bed, where the heat lamp was glinting enticingly. “Can we- can we move to the bed?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Of course,” Roman said gently, nudging the three of them over towards Janus’s bed. “We can stay as long as you need, love.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thank you,” Janus managed to whisper as they all laid down, shifting around and tangling together. Roman snapped comfortable clothes onto all three of them, t-shirts in their signature colors and coordinating pajama pants appearing on all of them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s going to be okay, love,” Logan said gently as Janus tucked his head into his chest. “These thoughts can seem like the worst enemy to face. But I promise you, beloved, we are here to help you fight through them.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Janus smiled.</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Leave a comment/kudos if you like?</p><p>I'm also found on tumblr @anxious-logic.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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